Like a revelation, the wind struck me at top speed on my way to the bus stop 30 minutes ago. Destroying my sculpture like hair it whistled past my ears howling the words like gods own all powerful voice. It was saying ‘LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE ASS WIPE!’
Tomorrow morning I shall haul my lazy arse out of bed early, get down to the post office and apply for my provisional driving licence. Things are going to change, before I go raving, jabbering insane.
Mahalo.
I think I might visit Malta this year. The thoughts of sitting on a beach in Gozo, with a drink in my hand and a good book, fill me with a certain sense of joy. Getting up and having breakfast on the balcony, early to bed and early to rise. A proper holiday is exactly what I need.
My last little get away which was last month, can hardly be described as a holiday. Packed into a small car, road tripping it along the northern coast of France. I came back from that trip so jangled that it took me a week to recover. Early to bed, blind drunk, and then early to rise with a serious hangover. Into the little car, and then 9 hours of solid driving. My central memory of that trip are standing on a cliff face, just north of the town of St Mere Eglise, holding a Sony Handycam, with the ice cold wind ferociously battering me as I tried to film.
No that is not what I have in mind this time. This time I shall have a real holiday, filled with sun, sea and serenity. Good air, good food, good drink, good people and good times.
It’s Saturday and as I write this I’m sitting in a room filled with mess and clutter, and the wind is howling at my window outside. The television is on, it’s muted,and I am watching cycling. it is rubbish. England are cycling around with a flag. I am bored and have nothing to do. I hate days like this. Just sitting in my room, blurry eyed, wishing I could take back the last year of my life and start it all over again. I woke up late and my eyes are still half closed. I could still be in bed dreaming for all my fucking mind knows. I’ll feel this way all day. Lethargic, pissed off and fed up with the whole fucking thing. What am I fed up with? Fucked if I know, people, but i am well and truly, royally fucking pissed fucking off with it.
Oh happy days! A revelation has struck me, and now ‘m filled with a sense of elation. For far too long now I’ve hesitated in writing this blog. Too long have I began an entry only to stop half way through because I think that what I’m writing is shit, that nobody will read it, and that those who do read it will laugh and point at me. Well fuck that! Who reads this? Either nobody, or people I don’t know, and thus could give a vaguless fuck what they think about my incessant, spelling error filled, bad grammar strune piece of writing. So from this day forth I shall write what I want. And if you don’t like it lord, then don’t bloody read it.
So why the sudden change of heart, foul mood and bad language? well I’ve been off work the past week due to an ear infection, which has caused a dreadful ammount of pain,coupled with the inability to sleep. This means I’m tired and pissed off. Seriously though, I haven’t been able to leave the house all week. Have you seen Secret Window? I feel like I have some serious cabin fever going on. The only thing that has kept me from going stark raving mad recently is plenty of sweet tea and long hours playing Dragon quest VIII.
I have the game cued at the title screen now, so as I always do, I’ll cut this piece of shit short.
Mahalo
This guy really deserves our support. I’ve been a huge fan of his work for a long time. First discovering him at a popular video game website who’s name I wont utter here. Recently, said website fired his ass for no good reason at all, so what is he doing about this? He’s starting his own website. And it’s all looking very exciting. So head on over to Giant Bomb (.com)
Last night was the first time in 2 nights that I have slept in a bed, and it was a welcome luxury.
I was only in work for 2 hours on Tuesday, so I finished at 16:00 and headed straight to the pub. I didn’t really have anywhere else to go, so I walked into the village near my office, ordered a pint of Spitfire, and read the paper. When I left the pub, I decided to take a walk. There’s a huge park behind the offices where I work, with lakes and woods, it’s really nice. I headed in that direction, but it started to rain so I stopped at the bus stop and lie a cigarette.
When I was on the bus, and half way home, my phone rang. It was my friend Chris asking what I was up to and if I would like to head over to his place for a night of xbox 360 and beer. Of course, I graciously accepted. The game we would play all night and into the early hours was Call of duty 4. An xbox live pleasure, and the game was almost as fun as watching Chris shout down his foul mouthed US opponents. There is no come back to ‘How about I give you some peanut butter. You smear it all over my ass, and if you’re a good boy I’ll let you lick it off”. So, two days later I’m rested and refreshed and ready for a weekend at the office.
What a shit week this has been. Oh well, I’m not going to bother writing anything about it.
I’ve decided to start learning html. I can’t believe I don’t already know it, or at least enough to get by. I’m finding it hard. It’s not the html that’s hard, that stuff’s pretty easy. What I’m finding difficult is the actual process of learning. It’s been such a long time since I actually had to do any kind of real studying, that I’m unsure how to read something and make it stick in my brain.
Fuck it. . .I’m going for a cigarette.
I’ve got to leave for the office in about 20 minutes. I Really can’t be arsed with it all today. Recently my happy reserves have depleted and I just can’t bring my self out of this low I’ve gotten myself in. I’ve started doing stupid things, letting shit get on top of me, and, once again, I’ve began caring too much about what people think of me. A friend of mine recently told me what cheers her up is writing lists of what she needs to accomplish in the next few months in order to become/remain happy.
Three things? That’s rather modest I think. . .I don’t feel better though.
P.S I’ve started smoking. A way to commit suicide slowly.
I refuse to let this blog die. I’m going to continue posting, even if those posts are complete grade A shit. I really don’t care.
Actually, I have quite a bit to write about. The last three weeks have certainly been eventful. when I get time, I’ll throw some of these weird events together into some sort of story, and post it on here. As for today? Well, despite it being a Sunday, and a day of rest, I have to be in the office in an hour. It should be a piece of piss. Turn my computer on, answer some emails, take some calls, drink some coffee, turn my computer off and go home. Job done. I had all of last week off, so to be honest, I really can’t complain.
Anyway, that’s enough from me for today.
I’ve been off work, for personal reasons, since Tuesday. I’m going back in today and I couldn’t feel more miserable and depressed. Not because I’m returning to work, but because I’ve been off in the first place, and now I know I’ve got a shit load of work to catch up on, plus you get all the ‘are you feeling better now?’ comments. Having a shit load of work to catch up on is an understatement, so I think I’ll be in all weekend now in an effort to catch up just enough to make next week bearable.
I think I’ll throw a couple more cups of strong black coffee down my throat, have a shower and then go. I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long day. Shit, I have the feeling it’s going to be a very long weekend.
The window next to me is wide open in an attempt to clear some of the smoke. I’m bloody freezing, but I want to keep smoking my cigar. We’re watching Band of Brothers, drinking beer and just chatting, putting the world to rights. I’m trying to relax and enjoy the company of my friends, but all can think about is how I’m in the office tomorrow and the mammoth amount of emails and other shit I have to work through.
Oh well, it’ll get done and no amount of worrying will help.
UPDATE
It’s now 00:26 on Tuesday and I can safely say that none of the work got done in the end. I stayed up Sunday night until about 2 am, before our host passed out on the sofa and then pissed off to bed. I was left to find a place to sleep, and since I had to be up in about 7 hours, it was imperative that I got at least a couple of good hours rest. I decided that my choice of chair would not result in even a slightly good nights sleep. I instead improvised and pulled two chairs together and slept across them. It kind of worked, but the slumber I got could hardly be considered as good. I recall waking up at about 4 am, my arm, unlike the rest of me, had completely gone to sleep and my neck was having some kind of spasm. After about two hours of dreadful, very restless sleep, I was again woken, this time by our hosts sister and brother, one preparing for school, the other for work. I lay there, listening to them walk around, pondering how much time I would allow on average each morning, before I had to leave the house. I had concluded that I would leave about an hour, most people would do the same, so I had an hour, maybe an hour and a half of laying on those two chairs, with my eyes closed and listening to them move about before they left.
I finally got up at 9.30 and our host drove me home. I had a quick breakfast of bacon and eggs with a slice of toast and three cups of coffee, before I had to leave for work. I spent the whole day taking calls, I answered about 4 emails and got rid of one of my negative balance cases. So now, as I said at the beginning, it’s 00:26 and I am going to leave it there, my bed is big and warm and the mere thought of it fills me with a sense of sleepy comfort. Compared to those two chairs in that smoke filled flat, my bed is a fluffy cloud worthy of heaven itself.
Good night.
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